Breast bullying

If you’ve ever watched a South Park episode you probably laughed or gasped at Ms. Choksondik, the endowed grade school teacher with breasts hanging to her knees.

Angelina Jolie, bursting from her Tomb Raider outfit, is the stereotype of buxom beauty.

And then there’s the scintillating image of Janet Jackson’s “wardrobe malfunction” during the 2004 Super Bowl.

Three different women; all lead to interesting public perceptions about breasts.

We talk more about breasts this month because October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and it’s also Anti-Bullying Month.

But did you know, breasts and bullying is a real thing?

Breast bullying is when someone teases, heckles or harms someone because of her breasts; big or small, full or flat, natural or implant.

Based on my experience, it’s the family that does the most breast-shaming damage. Sometimes my clients will refer to themselves as the odd one, having been singled out by being the small-busted daughter, or the well-endowed sister.

“Where did those come from? Certainly not from my side of the family. What’s wrong with you?”

Nothing.

Self-esteem issues develop. This very easily carries on into adulthood, appearing as negativity toward body image, poor selfawareness, sexual problems, and constant questioning of whether they’ve done something to deserve this kind of ‘issue.’

Kids tease one another at school. Parents and family members need to step in to be supportive, validating and loving.

The body is nothing to feel shame over. "The extreme teasing started in middle school for me," said Leslie native Lacey Leonard. "My best friends started developing, and I never did! By high school, I was constantly told Id be a Perfect 10 if I had boobs. Then my mom got implants because shes always been small. Now she picks on me because I still have small ones. It hurts. It sucks."

"I was the first girl in my grade to develop," said Melissa of Lansing. "I was wearing a bra by third grade. When the other girls found out, the teasing was so bad the week following that our teacher had to take them out in the hallway and tell them their behavior was unacceptable."

Sometimes our attempts to help only hurt.

Baggy clothing doesn’t disguise anything and just makes the situation worse. Visit a shop that offers bra fittings. And when you’re told what size she should wear, before you freak, maybe you should be fitted too.

"I didnt wear anything but baggy clothing growing up," Melissa explains. "I compressed everything as much as possible.

My family didnt care. All the women were well-endowed and we all picked on each other because in hindsight I think we were all really insecure. We all now have super rounded shoulders from trying to hide our breasts."

Culturally breasts somehow are connected with a sense of morality, especially if they are busty. Women must not wear anything too fitted or revealing for fear of being dirty.

Boobs easily move from sex objects to Remember Amanda Todd, the 15-year-old from British Columbia who flashed a boy during an Internet chat, and committed suicide after years of cyberbullying because he spread it all over social media?

She even made her own heartbreaking YouTube video weeks before her suicide, flashing a card that said, “I have nobody. I need someone.”

If we continue to harass women about breasts the vicious cycle continues.

Teach girls to honor and respect their bodies at a young age, to embrace their shape and develop positive and optimistic attitudes.

At home, choose the right words and don’t single anyone out for having large or tiny breasts.

Be better educated as a whole about breast sizing.

Talk and teach tolerance for every person, every shape no matter what.

Lauren Long is the owner of Curvaceous Lingerie in Old Town.