The soul of a survivor

Polzin silently and shamefully endured sexual abuse by her stepfather the entire time as she grew up in Birch Run.

“I was threatened to be killed if I told,” she said.

Last year she got up the courage to break the silence and press charges against her mother’s husband. He’s serving time in prison now and Polzin is practicing her voice as a healing tool for herself and others.

“My goal is to be able to help kids and teenagers who out their abusers, sexual or physical,” said Polzin, 25, who lives in Owosso now. “It’s OK. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Polzin is one of 12 participants in the Soulfire 2015 Calendar project by the Firecracker Foundation. The calendar celebrates 12 survivors of childhood sexual trauma.

This year’s calendar and survivors will be revealed at a fundraising event Nov. 12 at the Eagle Eye Golf Club. Last year’s calendar raised $6,000 for therapeutic services for child survivors of sexual trauma.

Tashmica Torok, director and founder of the Firecracker Foundation in Lansing, is also accepting a Characters Unite Award and a $5,000 check from the USA Network at the event.

Survivors participate in a photo shoot that displays their healing in an artistic way, Torok said.

“While it’s an awareness project, it’s also a tool for survivors to see messages from other survivors who have experienced the same thing,” said Torok.

Polzin said she recently got to meet others who are in the calendar.

“It made me feel a little better. I’m not the only one. Made me feel like I fit in somewhere.”

The calendar is not meant to be a sad monthly reminder of sexual assault and trauma.

“We actually ask 12 survivors to participate in creating an artistic exploration of their experiences with sexual trauma,” Torok said. “We allow them, through that artistry to create and control their own narrative. So it’s not actually a calendar of and about sexual trauma. It’s about the survivor experience.”

This year’s theme is solidarity. Every survivor was invited to have a person who played an important role in their healing to participate in the photo shoot with them.

“We have sisters who were in therapy together playing chess,” said Torok. “We have two friends who rescued each other from trauma within their families. We have a mother who feels like she was rescued by her daughter and was considering suicide.”

Torok is herself a survivor of “serial rape between the ages of 6 and 8” by her father. She is inviting her fourth grade teacher, who she confided in at the age of 9 about her abuse.

When she found her teacher, Lisa Griffon (formerly Mrs. Pease), Torok said the teacher had to jog her memory because she helped so many children who were molested.

She said she recently heard the term “epidemic” used to talk about the prevalence of sexual trauma.

“With one in three little girls being sexually assaulted before the age of 18, and one in six boys being sexually assaulted before the age of 18, the sad news is we will probably never run out of survivors” for the calendar, she said.

It’s important for survivors to tell their stories, not just to help others, but to help themselves erase any stigma of shame.

“The victim is never to blame; we communicate that message and then we hide from the story,” said Torok.

Polzin said since she came out and prosecuted her stepfather, she and her mother have a strained relationship.

“My mother says I started a manslide in Birch Run,” she said.

She said at least three or four other women have come out with their stories of molestation in the tiny village of 1,500.

“I’m proud to be able to help others speak up,” she said.

Soulfire 2015: The Firecracker Calendar Project

Nov. 12, 6:30 p.m. Eagle Eye Golf Club, 15500 Chandler Road, Bath $20 thefirecrackerfoundation.org