One hell of a novel

Chuck Palahniuk is back, telling the tale of a teen who is eternally 'Damned'

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Tuesday, Nov. 1 — “Are you there, Satan? It’sme, Madison” opens every chapter of "Fight Club" author ChuckPalahniuk’s latest novel, "Damned." They say you can’t judge abook by its cover, but even before it’s opened it’s obvious that "Damned"is different.

The novel is flesh-toned andembossed with a tattoo-style illustration of the capital-D Devil. It’s thestory of Madison Spencer, the dead and eternally sentenced to damnation daughter of a movieproducer father with a private jet and an actress mother who frequently modelsfor the cover of Vanity Fair. A relentless people-pleaser, 13-year-oldMadison is just another lost soul in Hell without an authority figure toimpress. So, along with a motley group of condemned teens, she sets out acrossthe Swamp of Partial-birth Abortions and the ever-growing Ocean of Wasted Spermto find and entice the Lord of Lies.

Madison’s style of narration comesacross as too articulate for a 13-year-old, but I’d rather read aliterate if slightly unbelievable young adult than try to decipher the textlingo, shorthand and homonym abuse associated with actual preteens of today:“r u their satin it me madi” would get old really quick.

The next hurdle to overcomeis the repetition, which is sort of a signature of Palahniuk. Nearly everychapter contains the phrase, “As my mom would say,” followed by an explanationof the quote.

Between setting up the voice, the repetition and introducing theenvironment, the book starts relatively slowly. Then it picks up — a lot. AsMadison meets celebrities, notorious historical figures and dethroned deitiesof yore, it gets perpetually more gripping, until the intensity is roaring likea great hellfire, only to end with To Be Continued.

Yeah. Apparently "Damned"is part one of a trilogy, and there is no break in the action to give book onea satisfying ending. On the plus side, this means that book two should have noissues with a slow start, but God knows how long we will have to wait before ithits the shelves. (Oops, sorry Satan, I said the G-word again.)

"Damned" does a great job of parodying both the environmentally conscientious hypocrisy of the rich andfamous and the fire-and-brimstone rule-mongering of the Westboro Baptist clan. The narrator isaccessible enough and the plot intriguing enough to convince this avid Palahniuk fan that "Damned" is the best novel of his to date. It maynever reach the sales level of "Fight Club," but that’s because it isn’tvery movie-adaptable, and because the content is a bit headier than histestosterone-fueled, anti-corporate claim-to-fame. Even if it doesn’t top thecult favorite, "Damned" is at least an easier read than his last three: "Tell All" featured too much Golden Age name-dropping, "Pygmy" was held back most bythe narrator’s broken English and "Snuff" seemed to be more smut thanplot.

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