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Wednesday, May 27,2015

Advice Goddess

Rise And Spine And To Boldly No Where No No Has Gone Before

by Amy Alkon
WEDNESDAY, May 27 — Q: My fiance is good friends with his ex-girlfriend from college. (We’re all in our 30s.) She isn’t a romantic threat, but she’s become a source of stress. Long before I met my boyfriend, they began hanging out at a local bar together twice a week. They still do this, and I go along, but I’ve increasingly found these evenings a draining time-suck. When I don’t want to go, my fiance hangs at home with me. This prompts a tantrum from his ex-girlfriend, complete with a barrage of angry texts. I’ve tried reasoning with her, but she claims that when he was single, he “dragged (her) out constantly” so he still owes her. My boyfriend is a laid-back, nonconfrontational kind of guy and just says she needs to calm down.
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Wednesday, May 20,2015

Advice Goddess

The File High Club And Feral Hugs

by Amy Alkon
Q: A year ago, a co-worker I had a crush on made moves on me after hours at work, and we stopped just short of having sex. I saw him as a potential boyfriend, and I emphasized that I was not interested in casual sex. He told me at the time that he had broken up with his girlfriend but two days later said they’d made up. Several times since, when his relationship has been on the rocks, he’s suggested we have sex. I told him I want no physical contact with him ever again, and now he rarely speaks to me, despite seeing me daily at work. I considered him a friend, so I’m devastated he took advantage of me and was only interested in cheating. I’m finding it really hard to heal and move on.
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Wednesday, May 13,2015

Advice Goddess

The Shoo Must Go On And Socks And The City

by Amy Alkon
WEDNESDAY, May 13 — Q: I’ve been dating this guy long distance for six months. He’ll often fail to return texts for an entire day or even a few days. I keep breaking up with him, but he keeps apologizing, acknowledging that he can be “distracted” and then offering convincing excuses or making me feel I’m overreacting. This is getting old.
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Wednesday, May 6,2015

Advice Goddess

Smells Like Bean Spirit And Meet Joe Blank

by Amy Alkon
WEDNESDAY, May 6 — Q: My girlfriend of a year is 51 and lovely in most areas — except one: She often passes gas and recently started belching audibly. She is a psychotherapist, dresses nicely, and has great figure. However, she grew up in a male-dominated, military home. She thinks I’m “weird” and “overly sensitive” to be disturbed by these behaviors, but I, like most men, like the whole “feminine” thing. I now feel less attracted to her, and our sex life has diminished somewhat. I wonder whether I’m being tested in some way.
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Wednesday, April 29,2015

Advice Goddess

All The Single M’ladies And Hitting Rocker Bottom

by Amy Alkon
WEDNESDAY, April 29 — Q: I read your manners book and loved it. I just feel that for most men, chivalry is dead. Maybe feminism killed it, and maybe men have just gotten lazy. Well, I was staying over at a (platonic) male friend’s house, keeping him company because he’s sick with cancer. Despite that, I woke up to him serving me breakfast in bed! Is it really so much to ask for a guy I’m actually sleeping with to at least hold the door open for me? I mean, come on!
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Wednesday, April 22,2015

Advice Goddess

Eat, Pray You’ll Shut Up, Love And Toad Rash

by Amy Alkon
WEDNESDAY, April 22 — Q: I’ve always been a feelings stuffer, but I’ve been reading about vulnerability creating intimacy, blah, blah, blah, so I’m trying to be an open book. Though my boyfriend appreciates this, he keeps telling me there’s a line between expressiveness and my making everything an emotional issue to be hashed out. He last said this when I confessed that I had Googled his ex-girlfriend and felt threatened by how pretty she is. Should I have kept that to myself?
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Wednesday, April 15,2015

Advice Goddess

Shake It Till You Make It

by Amy Alkon
WEDNESDAY, April 15 — Q: I'm new to online dating. I'm a nice, good-looking guy with a good job, but I have a muscular condition that causes me to shake a lot. I’m not looking to fool anyone, but I don’t want to advertise my condition on my profile because it’s so p...
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Wednesday, April 8,2015

Advice Goddess

Malice In Wonderland and Two Brokeback Girls

by Amy Alkon
WEDNESDAY, April 8 — Q: My boyfriend has a crazy ex-wife who can’t let go. She is the meanest, most vengeful and manipulative person, initially convincing the 15-year-old son she has with my boyfriend that I’m the reason “Dad won’t come back.” (He actually divorced her after she, in a fit of rage, made a false police report about him.) She also slashed my tires and spread a rumor that my boyfriend is a child molester. I love him dearly, and we feel we're soul mates, but his ex-wife is making it so hard to be happy. What can I do?
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Wednesday, April 1,2015

Advice Goddess

Flee Circus

by Amy Alkon
WEDNESDAY, April 1 — Q: My mom left when I was young, and my former husband left me, too. Maybe because of this, I’ve noticed that I’m quick to assume that any man I’m seeing is ditching me. In the early stages of dating, if there’s a lag in calling or texting me back, I’ll lash out — block the guy on Facebook and delete him from my phone — only to feel stupid when I learn that his phone battery died or he was already asleep. As a relationship progresses, I still perceive relatively innocuous things as signs it’s over, and I keep testing a guy’s limits with demands and drama, pushing him to (finally) bail. How do I stop doing this? It’s totally unconscious in the moment.
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Wednesday, March 25,2015

Advice Goddess

Wane Of Terror And Baby Got Backpack

by Amy Alkon
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 25 — Q: I’ve been seeing this guy long distance. I haven’t really been feeling it and kind of let it drop off, thinking he’d get the hint. He keeps texting and calling. I keep telling him I’m just really busy. The truth is I’ve met somebody else. Do I have to tell him?
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