TUESDAY, Oct. 29 — Halloween is upon us. Unfortunately, goth Christmas is Thursday. A long night of vomiting in gas station parking lots on All Hallow’s Eve while dressed as Joaquin Phoenix’s Joker will make for a very painful first of November the next morning. And that’s just fine. But before you puke in that parking lot, we recommend checking out at least one of these lucky 13 events:
Thursday, Oct. 31
$18, 7 p.m. to 11 p.m., The Loft, 414 E. Michigan Ave., Lansing
The boy who yodeled his way from Walmart to tween pop stardom brings his “How’s Your Girl, How’s Your Family” tour to Lansing at just the right time. Live footage of Ramsey’s concerts proves people already attend his gigs in droves while donning cowboy hats. But on Halloween of all nights? This has potential to be a catastrophically massive gathering of folks wearing cowboy boots and ten-gallon hats, all of whom enjoy memes. Lansing might not survive.
9 p.m. to 2 a.m., The Avenue Cafe, 2021 E. Michigan Ave., Lansing
The Avenue Cafe seems to throw Halloween parties regardless of the time of the year. Now that it actually is Halloween, we can expect something truly horrific. Heck, it’s doubtful they even need to promote an event or give it a catchy title — people will just instinctively flock there year after year with the knowledge that good spooky times are bountiful. There’s free pinball on the Elvira, Addams Family and Munsters machines and bartenders will whip up “BOOze specials.”
Noon to midnight, The Grid, 226 E. Grand River Ave., Lansing
The ’80s are responsible for the single greatest decade of horror films ever. Everybody knows this. Just watch John Carpenter’s masterful “The Thing,” and try to say otherwise. It’s also the greatest decade for Halloween music, and that’s not just a reference to Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.” Is there any other time period in pop culture where a goofy song like “Somebody’s Watching Me,” with an even goofier video starring ’80s goofball Rockwell, could chart? Unlikely. Anyway, The Grid wants you to live vicariously in a previous decade through a costume contest, alcohol and arcade games. Is that so much to ask?
6 p.m. to 8 p.m., The Fledge, 1300 Eureka St., Lansing
Sometimes we forget what a wholesome holiday Halloween is. In the early evening of Halloween, The Fledge will have more wholesomeness than you can stuff inside a cheap plastic jack-o’-lantern. The children of Lansing’s east side neighborhood will gather for tricks and treats, while The Fledge accepts donations for its community projects and nonperishable items for its food pantry. Halloween for Ghouls and Boos is a collaboration with The Fledge’s neighbor Unity Spiritual Center of Lansing, which needs a space to receive some Halloween fun and community love after its building caught fire in September.
$10, 7 p.m. to 9 p.m., The Robin Theatre, 1105 S. Washington Ave., Lansing
Sometimes the horror movie isn’t a movie at all, it’s an old-school radio drama done by the old pros of Audio Air Force. If for some reason the term radio drama doesn’t click with you, the best place to start your research is “War of the Worlds,” Orson Welles’ 1938 broadcast that shocked its woefully impressionable listeners. Audio Air Force will read two productions, an original play by Will Anderson, “Lost Dog,” and an episode from the series “Suspense” titled “On a Country Road,” which tells of an encounter with a stalker on a dark, lonely winding road.
8 p.m. to 11 p.m., High Caliber Karting, 1982 W. Grand River Ave. #800, Okemos
You are an ax-murderer. Is your victim a promiscuous, pot-smoking teenager? Not this time! It’s time for you to chill out on slaughtering the innocent and instead deal carnage upon the bull’s-eyes of the ax-throwing targets at High Caliber. And don’t forget the go-karts. If you have a fantasy to properly re-enact Mario Kart, now’s the time to seize the day. Who knows when you’ll get another chance? There’s a costume contest, and there’s no cover charge.
8 p.m. to 2 a.m., Mac’s Bar, 2700 E. Michigan Ave., Lansing
As Vincent Price said in “Thriller,” “The foulest stench is in the air, the funk of 40,000 years, and grisly ghouls from every tomb are closing in to seal your doom.” But instead of interpreting “funk” as an eldritch stench of unimaginable horror, take it to mean the wonderfully funky music of Tell Yo Mama. Tell Yo Mama will use its hypnotic rhythms to keep everybody sealed inside the grisly, ghoulish tomb that is Mac’s Bar. And don’t forget about the Halloween-themed drinks, snacks and the costume contest.
$10, 8 p.m. to 1 a.m., 542 Auditorium Road, East Lansing
Haunted Auditorium never disappoints. With a building as eerie and antique as MSU’s Fairchild Theatre, you’d have a hard time creating a haunted house that’s anything but frightening. The MSU Department of Theatre has concocted yet another terrifying theme: revenge. “Vengeance” tells the story of a jilted wife who uses the help of a wicked deity to exact her own form of justice on her philandering husband.
$5 for 21+, $10 for 18-20, 9 p.m. to 2 a.m., Spiral Dance Bar, 1247 Center St., Lansing
If your idea of a good time is that bloody rave scene from “Blade,” this is probably where you’ll want to spend Halloween. Special drag performances will be held throughout the night, and you can take blood-drenched, yet still effortlessly fabulous, selfies using Spiral’s custom Snapchat geo-filter.
4 p.m. to 8 p.m., Horrocks Tavern, 7420 W. Saginaw Hwy., Lansing
On this visit to Horrocks, the horror won’t be confined entirely to the parking lot. Instead, you can drench yourself in the ghoulish flavors of seven sinister brews from Tri-City Brewery. You will be caught in the grips of Scarecrow Pumpkin Pie Spiced Brown Ale, Black Tie Summit, Intergalactic Jack, Helles, Cherry Torchon, Mr. Sinister Belgian Dark and Belgian Tripel.
10 p.m. to 2 a.m., Michigan Princess, 3004 W. Main St., Lansing
A gaggle of young people partying on a boat is how the worst “Friday the 13th" movie of all time, “Jason Takes Manhattan,” begins. But let’s hope your night doesn’t fare as poorly as that box office bomb if you choose to take this voyage. There are three decks, two bars and a raffle for tickets to future events for attendees that show up in costume.
$5, 1 p.m. to 7 p.m., Turner-Dodge House & Heritage Center, 100 E. North St., Lansing
If ghosts were in fact real, would the purgatorial souls of the 19th-century appreciate us gawking at their outdated clothing and architecture? Probably not. But could they do anything about it? Not really! Join Turner-Dodge House for its Fourth Victorian Halloween if you’re a goth that was born in the wrong century.
$8, 4:15 p.m., Howell Historic Theater, 315 E. Grand River Ave., Howell
“The Evil Dead” is one of Michigan’s finest products. Produced by a crew of MSU film students helmed by Sam Raimi and his big-chinned muse, Bruce Campbell, “The Evil Dead” wound up an endearing classic of the splatter genre. You can relive the gory mess at Howell Historic Theater, which is screening a 4K-resolution print of the film featuring a reimagined score by original composer Joe LoDuca.