The Endless Friendship Circle: A local senior group recognizes 26 years of creating community with older adults

Aging can be complicated. Different areas of life shuffle the priority scale and can mean putting a social life on hold.

And when the things that once took up all the time in the world disappear, the life left can feel isolating and monotonous.

Seniors, when the kids have lives of their own and the work hours no longer apply, risk losing social connection. 

The Allen Neighborhood Center (ANC) offers an alternative experience to aging. For over two decades, the Senior Discovery Group has gathered at the ANC about once a week for connection, enrichment and “pretty good coffee.”

And on the days when official meetings are canceled, members still meet somewhere else, though it’s usually just a few blocks away at Soup Spoon Cafe. 

“I feel like that speaks to them wanting to be with one another and connect,” ANC Community Resources Manager Cedar Smith said. 

Smith oversaw the program for about a year before moving to their current position as resources manager.

They previously worked providing in-home healthcare for seniors and witnessed how isolation and a lack of social interaction affected clients. “It’s so harmful,” they said. “It really impacts someone’s mental health and sense of belonging.”

The group’s lore is not fully documented, and its history is mostly legend. “From my understanding, they were actually meeting outside of here before it was, like, here,” Smith said. 

According to Smith, the first official meeting in the ANC was September 27, 2000. 

That adds up to over a thousand meetings.

Smith said a core group of about six or seven people attends every week, depending on the activity.

During one meeting, group members brought homemade crafts and discussed their personal histories with Roberto Torres, the ANC’s new executive director.

A craft show-and-tell has happened a few times already. “Some of us have run out of crafts to bring,” regular Lynne Lambert said. 

Despite that, even the regulars are full of surprises. 

Mary Sahs is a regular. She shared her background as a naturopath, which was new information to the group, and even brought her tuning forks to demonstrate.

“That’s awesome,” Lambert said. “I never knew that about you.”

Marilyn Roberts showed off decorated glass bottles, filled with dainty string lights, that she sells at craft fairs. “I’ve only been doing these two, maybe three years,” she said, but her crafting career spans over a decade. 

Roberts has attended meetings on a regular basis for over 13 years. “Before that, I would come occasionally when my mother was visiting from Florida,” she said. “I would bring her here.”

While others said they had nothing new to share with the group, conversation flowed. Like any gathering with friends, their discussion jumped from topic to topic.  Over the two-hour meeting, the group covered subjects like their individual upbringings, Lansing murals and possibly starting a book club.

Show-and-tell can get repetitive, so the ANC makes an effort to switch activities up. They partner with the International Speakers (I SPEAK) Program at Michigan State University, and host an international student to share their story with the seniors. I SPEAK sessions are a fan favorite.

“It’s really good because you get to interact with people outside of our area,” Susan Dougherty, another regular attendee for about three years, said. 

“They really like learning about a lot of different countries,” the center’s Smith said. 

Other speakers have come in the past covering a range of topics, from estate planning to more unconventional subjects. When a content producer spoke to the group, Smith was surprised by the level of engagement. “Everybody was so curious … ready to connect, ready to ask those clarifying questions.”

“It didn’t feel as relevant for that particular age demographic to be as interested as they were in producing content,” Smith said.

A common assumption about older adults is that, after a certain point, curiosity about the world around us stops. Smith sees the opposite. “They’re always willing to talk and connect and learn more,” they said, “like truly ready to absorb information and learn and be a part of the community.”

The group also takes trips around the community, like the Lansing Makers Network.

The next week’s meeting was all about hula hoop yoga. Jenny Wagemann, who manages the center’s farmers market and food pantry, led the session and brought in chairs as an aid.

Wagemann is also an instructor at Peoples Yoga Studio in Reo Town, and said this was her first time teaching with a hula hoop and chair. 

Almost a dozen participants gathered in the ANC’s Great Room for the hula hoop yoga session. The smell of cinnamon rolls baking in the adjoining kitchens wafted throughout the space. Combined with the pensive guitar music playing from Wagemann’s speaker, it was a wonder anyone was able to stay awake.

Wagemann guided the group through a variety of movements, all with modifications to fit limited mobility. Towards the end of the session, participants tried their abilities by actually swinging the hula hoops around their hips. Words of encouragement flew across the room, and cheers erupted when someone was successful.

Afterwards, a few moved into the conference room where meetings are typically held to catch up.

Roger Hackbarth has gone to meetings for about six months. A retired teacher and the son of a farmer, Hackbarth said finding people to connect with, especially after his second wife died and recent health issues, was difficult.

“Everything I do is pretty much in walking distance,” he said. “I need to be around people.”

Hackbarth is still easing his way into the group and wants to spend more time with participants outside of official meetings. “I guess there’s a little bit of the old farmer in me,” he said. “It’s not that I want to stay by myself, but it’s been a hard thing.”

Like other community groups, Senior Discovery Hour took a hit during the COVID-19 pandemic. Diane Ross, one of the regulars, said the group used to be larger. “We didn’t see a lot of them come back after that.”

Ross said she’s been coming to the Senior Discovery Hour for “a long time.”

A Grand Ledge resident, Ross travels farther than most in the group to attend the weekly sessions. “It’s a nice way to meet people,” she said. 

On the surface, the senior adults who gather on Wednesdays at the ANC meet to break up their days.

But look a little deeper, and it’s clear members rejuvenate each other when slowing down is the norm.

ANC’s Smith said participants are asking for more responsibility with managing the group. “Like maybe being the points of contact [and] reaching out to people,” they said, “because right now it’s just us doing it.”

Wagemann works with some group members when they volunteer with the food pantry, and said the attendees have a special connection. “I know that if they haven’t heard from someone in a few days, they’ll ask to go check in on them.”

While aging and its implications, like losing connection with those closest to you, can be daunting, Senior Discovery Hour offers an alternative experience. One that fosters new friendships and extends opportunities to learn. 

Even as a new member, Hackbarth already sees the benefits of attending. Meetings give him something to look forward to. “It’s vibrant,” he said. “It’s not just a bunch of old people who sit there and drink their tea … I appreciate the life that’s here.”

“If you want to know why we all love each other,” Lambert, a regular attendee, said, “it’s because there’s nothing else that I’ve found like this.”

Senior Discovery Hour meets once a week, but the possibilities for connection are endless.